Our Lewy Body Dementia and Parkinson Journey #31

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This picture just made me happy today. Not so much as things are changing for me but that we can make of our journey what we can.  They tell us we are in stages....and not everyone will go through the same stage at any given time during the journey of Lewy body dementia....

This last week we have been in a sad stage.  Hubby knows he has the disease; he knows he is a Christian and that God has things in control but still he is human.

We were just setting and watching TV one evening and hubby turned to me with tears in his eyes..."I didn't ask for this disease".... I don't know what I have done to get it....and why??????

It was so sad.... but all I could say was "no we don't know but we still know who holds our hands and he has a good reason for everything."....

He tries to work but no energy.... tries to read but can't focus....tries to do dishes but doesn't know where they go.... he stopped helping with laundry as too complicated.  He is still trying to mow the lawn, but he does one strip across and thinks he just did it all.

I hope I am not getting to the place that I just shrug it off as "oh well it's the disease".....I try to step in to help but that does not always go over well.  Hubby thinks I am pushing him out.  Hard to know when to help and when to back off.  

He is still dizzy, low energy, losing weight, hurts a lot.  We will be seeing his neurologist in a couple weeks so will see how that goes.

I am tired, can't seem to get my strength back. I feel it is more emotional tired that actually my body.  I feel like everything is out of control and I still can't fix it.  Not sure which way to turn or what to do.  Hubby can't help with anything serious he just can't understand it right now.  We go to the attorney this next week to get a few things legal.  and then that will be done.  If I didn't have my kids and grandkids, I don't know how I would be dealing with this right now.  We all think we are so strong until it comes to our own front door and then we have to deal with it.  Without the peace and strength of the Lord I would be a basket case.  But when I feel its to much the Lord sends the right person along.  I will get through this and so will hubby.  Who knows we may be here writing this 10 years from now.  God bless all of you...

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