therustycupboard

 For Christmas we decided to have grandpa give each grandchild that was home a memory hug...since he has dementia and parkinson we don't know how long his memory will be with us.  So each grandchild was given a sweatshirt and we painted Brents hands and arms and he gave each child a hug, which put his hand print on the back of each shirt.     

  Been having to rethink some of my ideas and change a few things I wanted to do in the future....ONE .... yes, it is a good idea for one level ........but not for hubby finding his way around in a new environment...especially with him already getting lost a few times when at another place....so maybe have to rethink how he moves around in our current home....instead of moving him....TWO....sons and son in law (Jon, Jeremy and Nathan)....are telling me to slow down....so thankful for each of them...they keep me calm and in my place.....all of them are there for me and I love them all so much...even grandson set and told me yesterday....grandma slow down and think this through....we can make this work...thank you Brayden...hubby fell the other day trying to get up two steps to the kitchen and cut his arm....but I think I could use child gates and block that way of him going....also removing all tools and extra gas etc out of all backyard sheds....going to child proof all of them for...

  Hubby 5 years ago ...strong and healthy...today I asked him how old he was, and he is so proud looks at me and says "I am 78 and will be soon 79: .......nope...he is 73 and will soon be 74 on the 19th of this month....but at least he is happy today no matter what his age is ...counting our blessings...  

  I know this sounds morbid, but I have been doing a lot of research on the Biblical views of cremation vs traditional burial....I have watched tons of videos, listened to lots of ministers.... walked through Biblical studies and I can see good points on both sides....in today's world you are pushed to do cremation as its cheaper, faster, better for environment due to not having to have so many Cemetaries....hubby and I have talked a lot about it...and we both come down to traditional burial for us....we are not against what you choose or how you go about it...but for us....we are just two ole fogies who love the traditional way to do it...simple easy no dramas, dinners, festivities...just family....just getting our priorities in place....

  It's so hard. I know that by now I should be able to handle the emotions of this disease. But it's so hard. We were sound asleep, and I hear these yelling crazy words...then he begins crying saying "please stop". I lay and ask the Lord please help him. It gets quiet and I think it's over then he gets up and walks through the house. I lay and pray, and he goes back to bed. He is asleep now and I am stressed. I am a girl who believes in prayer. But still hubby suffers. I know God can heal but still hubby suffers. I walk the floor asking the Lord already to help us...I know some of you have gone through worse and I am trying not to complain. It's just that it's so hard to watch your hubby change...daily. And you have to just sit and watch. Yes, he lost his temper today. He just yelled at me was all. And yes he was sorry after. I am a hard person to live with I know. But after 51 years you would think we got this. All is quiet here now so I guess I...

  Cleaning out a couple sheds and found Brents three wheel bike....When Brent's dad was in his late 80's early 90's he had a three wheel bicycle that he would ride from Weippe to Pierce and back which is 11 miles up hill...he would go to the pharmacy there and get his meds....he wouldn't let anyone take him he would say "I have all day to do this" and off he would go...many of you remember seeing him and he even made the newspapers.....our son Jon came up with a three wheel bike for his dad for Father's day. in 2018.....he saw a vintage one online and bought it.... hubby was so excited ...reminded him of his dad......yes, I tried it but I forgot the hand brakes and ran into the neighbor's fence......we just love this, and it was so thoughtful of Jon and Sue to get this for their dad...it has brought some good memories back for Brent....no hubby didn't ride it...was hard just getting him on it....

  It's so hard. I know that by now I should be able to handle the emotions of this disease. But it's so hard. We were sound asleep, and I hear these yelling crazy words...then he begins crying saying "please stop". I lay and ask the Lord please help him. It gets quiet and I think it's over then he gets up and walks through the house. I lay and pray, and he goes back to bed. He is asleep now and I am stressed. I am a girl who believes in prayer. But still hubby suffers. I know God can heal but still hubby suffers. I walk the floor asking the Lord already to help us...I know some of you have gone through worse and I am trying not to complain. It's just that it's so hard to watch your hubby change...daily. And you have to just sit and watch. Yes, he lost his temper today. He just yelled at me was all. And yes he was sorry after. I am a hard person to live with I know. But after 51 years you would think we got this. All is quiet here now so I guess I...

  Just an update...will all the prayers and his new meds hubby is doing good. Even back to reading and enjoying some books. Which is a good step. So I am just counting my blessings.

  The hardest part about these diseases is the caregiver never knows when or where the loved one will have a meltdown. Hubby has been real good helping me as much as he can while I have been sick. Things have been going ok and working. Until today...youngest son stops by to bring the kids for school and us to watch until he gets off work. He asked me to go outside and help him so he could talk to me. We stepped outside and I forgot to tell hubby....he comes out all upset....we say we are just checking the fluids in the pickup and you can help out. That's when he exploded....started yelling...the neighbors come out on their deck to see what is going on. Hubby is yelling and almost crying that no one will listen to him. Son says "Dad it's ok...we are done just go inside". Hubby is crying and takes off for the house. Mercy....meltdown...big time....first one of these since he was put on the meds. Son came in and talked to Dad and grandson Gabe sets down and just s...

  It's so crazy how our lives change...for 40+ years this time of year I am working on my vintage campers. I love getting it all dressed up and ready for the camping trips of the year. This year life has changed so much that I just look at things and walk on by. I would always think of a theme and then shop for items and work the insides of the camper over for that theme. Hubby has changed and I guess I have changed. For the good I am not sure. But I look at so many things with a different eye, now. Even plans for the backyard have changed. Maybe closer to Spring I will get my mojo back but for now. No interest....I do more wondering around in circles than getting things done. Well have a great day and try to smile and make someone else's day...God bless...

  We had a great Thanksgiving....was just hubby and I, son and his two kids.... a quiet nice dinner...then our other son and his family of 5 came over and we had desserts and played a card game. was a lot of fun.... new game and just relaxing...Hubby did not play just watched us all. Today hubby has been really tired and has a stiff neck and some pain. So, he was up for a little while and then went off to bed......he has been spending about half the day in bed lately. I have the grandkids today as son is working so we will play, eat and just watch TV. Both grandkids have head colds, so I am doctoring them and just relaxing. Been pretty tired today. ..hubby has been talking more about his diseases. We both know that time is limited but we are just going to keep on keeping on. Trying to count our blessings and enjoy each day we have. God bless and thanks again for following our journey.

  Things were going where hubby just wanted to stay in bed for four days and nights. Pastor Phil came and prayed for him and he got up took garbage out and the next day he was up took a shower and was alert. This was good for a couple days. Then he has taken back to the bed. Today I went into the bedroom at 10:30 am and said "Brent you have to get up...he says "No I am going to rest". I said "no the doctor says you have to keep moving...so you have to get up and move around and keep your muscles working". It was hard but he got up took a shower and I have to sneak it to get the dirty clothes so he doesn't put them back on instead of the clean ones he takes into the bathroom...so we got him in clean clothes and then the battle of him brushing his teeth...he says "I did early this morning...no I say you were not up....so finally I convinced him he had to brush his teeth.......finally got him into a chair...but not moving.......this is so hard...he j...

  Have you ever wondered what you would do if your spouse passed away from a terrible disease? Where do you go? What do you do? Where will you live? So many questions. They are on my mind all the time. Hubby is in a stage of Lewy Body Dementia....last night he had bad dreams and was yelling. I woke him up and he settled down...but I could not sleep....I tossed and turned until I finally got back up and walked the floor. I always walk when I am stressed, and I needed answers. I have children who are married with kids but what mother wants to make herself a burden to them and their families. I sure don't. But what lies ahead for me. I will take care of hubby as long as my body will hold out.... which if I have to crawl, I will be there for him. We are in this together. But for the future he cannot even think about it. The disease will not allow him to do so. He just looks at me and says, "I don't know but you will figure it out". A doctor put in for m...

  Today hubby went to work with me...I was to scrap old paint off a wall of a house and prepare it so it could be painted again...we had to scrap and caulk all cracks. Hubby helped out as much as he could....got confused about tools....and directions but was a good help. As long as I kept the instructions one at a time. We worked hard and put in a long day. But got it all done. Tonight hubby went to bed early and was doing good until a few minutes ago when he woke up yelling and throwing his arms around. I finally got him awake and settled down and he said he was fighting a guy that was trying to hurt my foster mom (mom Carr)....weird which I haven't seen her in years....but hubby was fighting him in his dreams. Now he is sleeping sound. This disease is so weird...some days he is almost normal and others so confused. Almost like two people instead of one. I never know when or where he will be a mess....he got angry a few times today and yelled during the day but I got him...

  We have the best kids....we are just home and son Jon calls and says we are coming with a surprise for you.....and I guess a puppy and said "Jon ...dad says no more dogs".....but Jon and Sue walk in with this brand new brown recliner lifter chair from the furniture store in Clarkston for Dad....it reclines but also raises up for easy getting out of it....such a blessing as hubby is having issues today with his legs and back being stiff.....makes us want to cry we are so blessed....

  .... we have been working hard on a small house...manual labor of siding..roof..windows..paint..shutters...today was a long day...we worked hard. But it took a toll on hubby...I keep pushing. But time to back off....he physically and mentally can't do it any more.... he is done.... even to hard for him to go and watch.....makes me sad...tomorrow is our last day. The house will be.done.....but hubby will also be done. No more projects....life...sometimes hurt...Nite all...

  Before I leave for work I wanted to let you all know the funny side of this disease...they warned me that hubby will start to collect things....and to watch what he collects some could harm him....well my hubby ...has now put 16 bottles of shampoo and creme rinse in the bath/shower...3 around the toilet and 4 on the counter by the sink....I ask him why....he says..."he has no idea"...I say where did you find all of these ...he says "no idea"............I have purchased them with coupons and put into the pantry...and yes I know they have expiration dates ...I am on top of this.....and now he has to have every door in the house closed....EVERY DOOR....this drives me crazy...and he has no idea why.......but he closes them and I open them....we are a mess here...........dishes are everywhere in the house as I still try to let him put the clean dishes away.....always a hunt....but we are doing good....enjoying a few good laughs....have a great day everyone and love on ...

We are so happy to report that things are going pretty good for us. Nothing new or different has been going on. Hubby mowed the lawn today...he forgets some, when mowing he misses a lot and I help him out...but nothing crazy....we are just getting things ready for Easter and plan on enjoying the holiday....daughter was home for the weekend and she got hubby to tell her stories about his semi truck driving time and hubby did pretty good. Daughter is taking these posts and making them into a book for the grandkids to have when they get a little older to remember our journey....hubby thought that was pretty cool. Thank you for all your prayers we feel them daily. God bless and thank you for being with us in our journey.

  Daughter came home with her two boys...she is such a help. We are working on some things to make life easier plus she is helping with important paperwork. I have found that I need lists.....lots of lists.....I don't know how most of you handled this but from what I read...lists are good. 1. list is for hubby's books....I found I have to have only one book out....I write the name of that book on the list and keep it to show hubby what book he is in....to many books and he reads a page or two in several and thinks he has read all of them. 2. bathing....he thinks he has taken a bath an hour ago. When you say time to take a bath....we have issues. 3. changing clothes....when he takes a bath I sneak in and take his dirty clothes and leave his clean clothes....he can't tell the difference for some reason. 4. where things go........mercy....this drives me crazy.....I find things everywhere......and somethings I am still looking for. 5. learning to just go along.........when...

 Today I did something real stupid.....son Jeremy came up and we were moving vehicles around in the driveway so I can move our vintage camper out...Son was moving his PT cruiser so hubby asked if he could move the pickup.   It had to be moved for Jeremy to get out.  To move hubby had to back out into the street and into the neighbor's driveway. Which he has done millions of times. He backed up ok and then decided to pull up along the highway and that's when he hit the round a bout sign and kept going.  The sign is fine no damage but it scrapped all down the side of the pickup and left it's mark. I told him to let me drive and that was when I noticed hubby wasn't doing good.  He was upset because he can't drive any more but had been told by 3 doctors not to drive but for some reason today it came home to him to realize it.   He got so depressed and thought it was all my fault.....he has driven for 35 years semi-trucks all over the United States. an...