therustycupboard

  Well I am setting in my truck in a parking lot. Alone, quiet, trying not to even think. I am not mad and not crying ....Just me. Today has been a hard one. Hubby woke up not feeling good. Back hurts, head hurts, dizzy, thinks he is going to faint etc. So he was just resting. Youngest son Jeremy came up with the kids to change batteries in his jeep. Replacing the old one with new. So I went outside with him and so did hubby. Brent got a tool and started helping and I was watching the kids ride their scooters when hubby sets down so I go to help son. I look at Brent and he starts crying and begins to yell. He is not stupid and he's not a dummy. Crying and yelling. I said "what no one says you are one"...that made things worse.....he stands up and throws down his tools and marches around all mad and melting down. If I said anything it got worse. Son says "mom don't take it personally" dad just stop. Brent looks at him and goes up the steps. ...

  We have been blessed with the best kids. Always there for us. Sometimes almost to much. I lean on them for so many things and lately so many decisions. I was told by a family member.. not my kids.. that I lean to hard on them, they have their own families to take care of also. Kinda was a slap in the face thing. Because I know it is true. Today the selling of our home fell through...so have to start all over again. Things are tight out there and money is hard to come by. Yes, I cried. I turned to the kids and said "ok, now what". Then I felt so bad. I laid all of this on them. Hubby has no clue and only smiles when I tell him. So the only thing I can do is "go to the rock".....the song goes... Where do I go? When there's nobody else to turn to Who do I talk to? When nobody wants to listen Who do I lean on? Oh When there is no foundation stable I go to the rock I know he is able, I go to the rock I felt my world is falling apart. So many things to ...

  Thank you for all your prayers. Hubby slept peaceful when he was asleep. He got up about 7 times to use the restroom and then back to bed asleep. I was awake most of the night listening for him. So glad he got some restful sleep. Again, thank you for all your prayers and concerns...You all keep me going. God bless.

  The last few weeks have been going along pretty good. Lots of confusion and hubby not hearing much...he keeps getting real tired. But he has been ok. Night before last we had issues. The problem with Lewy Body is you never know what can set off an issue. Apparently hubby got something off TV, because that night he begins yelling about 2 am...not screaming but yelling. I go to the door of his room. He begins to cry still asleep and then he points a finger at me and starts yelling gibberish...I say "Brent Brent wake up". He finally does and tells me that communists were trying to get to the kids. Had to be from the TV. Last night we were sound asleep and he begins to scream, I hear him throwing his body around hitting the wall the bed shaking and him yelling. To be honest it kinda scared me. I go to the door of his room and say again "Brent wake up. I then turn the light on and say Brent wake up. Trying to do the steps the neurologist tells me to do. He wa...

Today I took hubby to the doctor to have his feet checked. A Podiatrist, because his feet keep swelling. The nurses took hubbies blood pressure and it was 179/90 and both nurses were a little nervous about it...they said "its to high" .I said "it's ok...that is good for him". The doctor was young but very kind. He listened and then said...with your hubbies problems and meds he is taking the least of our worries is a little foot swelling. So we had him do a few things and left. Hubby is resting. I have been waiting for a phone call....I was going to give it until Thursday to see if they were going to call. But impatient me I called them. Good thing I did....the receptionist was so nonchalant...like its no big deal...ok we will set you up for a tour. Just a noncommittal attitude. Me I want to reach through the phone and slap him...'listen buster this is my husband we are talking about ...get with the program"...but instead I hang up and call d...

  Our Lewy Body Dementia and Parkinson disease journey...trapped..october 28th For me, it is the worst feeling to be trapped in a situation not of your choosing......... where you have no idea how bad it will get........ how long it will last ..........and you have the sole responsibility for everything.......... which you have many doubts about whether you are capable of meeting........ . Your whole life is turned upside down ......you begin to question everything you say and do.....even family members question everything you say and do...... This is so very different from other marriage challenges.......... because you are alone in a marriage ...........with a hubby who no longer is capable of even realizing how bad the situation is....but you try and try to do the best that you can.......life.....without the hand of God I could not do this.......

  Well we have moved to a new stage. This stage I think is coming from his book movies which we have had to get off our TV. But for the last week hubby has been visited by Rosanna. This Rosanna wants to learn to drive semi..so Hubby has been helping her. I do not know a Rosanna and don't think I ever have. I have been home and no one has come by but hubby says she has. He will tell you stories about her and him trying to teach her but he has the guys from different jobs and different companies all mixed together and not one story makes since. This is why I have to keep certain programs off the TV he watches them and then thinks they are real. I am working on some plans and I feel guilty about doing it and then I know I have to do it and back and forth. Please help me pray if the Lord wants this to happen he puts all the pieces in place and if not he blocks them. I am torn on this. But things have to change. Thank you for the prayers. My heart is so heavy over all of this ...

  Not sure how much hubby understands at our neurologist appointments. But ever since we have been home he has been having anger issues. One is he likes to watch talk shows. Not bad ones or nasty ones....but ones that are about a senior and his family turns on him and goes after him for his money and he retaliates. Doctor says NO....stop those shows as with his state of mind he may begin to think it is real and all about him. So since being home I have tried and he gets real mad about it....even threw the remote at me and started yelling....daughter is going to figure out how to delete them off our TV. Today I needed to run errands so I ask him to go he says "No I am staying home" so I go but try to hurry back. Finally I talk him into going and he stayed in the car when I ran into Winco. This afternoon daughter calls and says "mom meet me at Hobby Lobby to shop" she is in Nampa and I am here but we facetime and it is fun. So I tell hubby I am leaving for on...

  You know I count on all of you a lot...I figure if I get crazy some of you would kick my butt. I got a call and the person feels that I am in a depression. I thought I had a good day today, hubby helped me clean out the shed take out all Christmas and put in the yard items, mower etc. All the Christmas is on the car port and we are going through it little by little hubby could only help a little as he has arthritis in the back and it hurts him a lot. Yes I do have times where it really gets to me....times when I want to scream...but I go to the Lord in prayer and come on here and ask for prayer....well I guess I need your prayers now. I am so sorry if I made some of you feel that I am in a depression. Not sure how it feels but I had a good day today. I will tell our kids to let me know if they see anything weird in me....they will tell me. But for now I guess I will just go on about working the tubs and let this all go. Thanks for listening...God bless, stay safe, warm and...

  Our Lewy Body Dementia and Parkinson disease journey....october 19th I was given this book by our neurologist. Might be a good one....I am to fill out and work it...

  Our Lewy Body Dementia and Parkinson disease journey....stages..october 18th We had such a fun time in Nampa at our daughters home....4 youngest grandchildren running and playing....we were so busy....we also had hubbies appointment with the neurologist....wasn't a bad appointment but we were made to know some things that are happening....hubby is retaining water....he has gained 15 pounds in the last 4 months and mostly the last couple weeks....has extremely high blood pressure...the problem is if they give him a blood pressure med with a water pill than the problem of his bladder is worse ...his bladder problem is getting worse daily...good news is daughter and I went shopping for supplies to take care of the issues but didn't purchase them at the appointment our doctor said she could get them covered with our insurance through Norco so we will be receiving supplies soon...problem getting hubby to wear them.....he is shutting down more all the time....not much strength and...

  Our Lewy Body Dementia and Parkinson disease journey..church Happy Sunday morning everyone....today I thought we might go to church...there is a little church across the road from our park....Faith Bible Church....it is just a walking distance away...but since the wind is blowing and cold we will drive....it's only a few minutes away so if hubby has problems or gets agitated we can be home in minutes.....he doesn't really want to go but I am encouraging him to try....hope everyone is having a great day....we had a prayer answered yesterday...nothing big but it took stress off my shoulders so I could sleep better ....looking forward to the holidays....trying to go through a lot of my tubs of decorations before it gets to cold outside to do it....but getting it done...can't believe I am still taking truck loads of items to the thrift stores....but 3 large bags of winter coats and clothes are in the truck now ready to be delivered....hubbies back hurts him a lot so he is tak...

  Our Lewy Body Dementia and Parkinson disease journey....noises Hubby has not been feeling well...he is extremely tired and kinda red in the face. Doesn't want to do anything, his back hurts, has a good appetite so I took his blood pressure and it is 145/81 not bad for him. But he has picked up a new quirk....he wants to click his tongue and make weird noises....out of the blue he will just make noises. Weird...not bad for a while but then I have to leave the room or go do something or go crazy. We are going to his neurologist in a couple weeks and I have so many questions. For those who have asked his legs are better...now it's just his back that hurts. I can't find anything to help him...he just wants to watch TV and eat. Take care friends and to the couple who have told me about your hubbies this week, hang in there, trust God he is the only one who can show us what to do.....text me if you want to just vent...I totally understand....we can go through this together...

  Our Lewy Body Dementia and Parkinson disease journey...friends So we live in a 55+ park...I was told there are 48 modular homes here....anyway we have become friends with a lot of them...the closest ones are in their 80"s she has beginning stages of dementia and Dale has cancer....but they have the most beautiful flowers...mums as big as pie pans...just beautiful and they are so proud of them....well he brings us tomatoes and cucumbers and I take them homemade bread...a few days ago he comes over and says "Helen I want to make you and Brent supper"...he says "I see you running here and there and I want to have you for dinner".....he says the best way to meet friends is breaking bread together....so last night he had us over for BBQ ribs, baked beans, homemade potato salad and huckleberry cobbler for dessert....we had such a fun relaxing time....they no longer attend church but have a great heart...he can't see very good so can't drive and can't go...

  Our Lewy Body Dementia and Parkinson disease journey...lie I was told today that I am to honest. To get help for hubby I need to learn to lie. This person is legal separated from her hubby but has never left him. They live together but she gets all kinds of government help. She works but also gets a caregiver to come in for 4 hours per day FREE...government pays. She gets her pay check and then helps for him. Mercy....others say you have to learn to play the game...if you do you get help. Well...I am not a good liar.....if I did my conscience would keep me up all night crying...so best just be honest. Yes, we have checked into getting help with hubby...so far it's a NO GO....most can not deal with his disease. So I just pray and tell the Lord..."Lord I could really use some help" and I know he will answer in his time. Also could use a few prayers that our home sells before winter. Don't want to deal with two homes through the winter months. Also...drives...

  Our Lewy Body Dementia and Parkinson disease journey...mean Well...I didn't want to post but to keep this chapter book going I must be honest and post. For several weeks now hubby has been changing...I thought I could handle it but mercy....at first he quit reading his Bible...then I would put the Bible on tape on and it was ok for a while. Then he got into talk shows...which for a while was ok. Then I noticed he was getting into not good talk shows. Now some of you might not agree but we have always held a standard in our home. No r rated movies...no cussing...no drinking alcohol...no smoking etc......always hubby and I agreed on this and we never even let our kids. But now hubby is into watching and listening to some crazy cussing shows...some weird shows.....gets real angry when I say something. So I hid the remotes. Now he can be just setting and just started yelling really angry.."SHUT UP" "DON'T TALK TO ME".....Then he settles down and then ...

  It's 12:48 pm everyone is sound asleep...house is peaceful and quiet...me I am wide awake...exhausted but can't sleep...daughter has worked her heart out for the last 2 days...organizing...downsizing me even more...baking...she even made homemade bread for my neighbor...his wife has dementia and he is always giving me tomatoes and cucumbers so she made them some bread...they were so excited to get it...took 4 kids to the fair...daughters two boys and son Jeremys two children...they had so much fun...family all met at DQ for ice cream for my birthday and to give me gifts...pushed hubby in the wheel chair at the fair so he could go and this evening his legs were swollen again...I have been so blessed with so many family and friends wishing me happy birthday....you are all such a blessing to me....I love and appreciate all of you...I guess I am still adapting to this new life...new home and hubby's issues....everyday I see him changing...my heart breaks for him....and for me...

  Hubby no longer reads...he can not read his Bible any longer. He does not do word search he mostly just sets. He can get up and help me if I ask him and show him what to do. No ideas no interest. When someone stops by he is not interested and doesn't come and join in. He just sets. Today while he was just setting I decided to see if I could get him to do something...I needed yarn rolled into a ball...so I set down beside him and showed him how to do it...He is real slow but working on rolling the yarn. At least he is moving his arms and it gives him something to concentrate on. Not sure how long he will do it but a win is a win. He is not in pain and is eating just setting. Like Comment Share

  At this stage in these diseases our neurologist says Helen get help...check into places for hubby as the disease progresses. Months ago she said start now!!!!....so I did. We researched went to everyone we could find local, as I wanted to keep hubby close. Now right now we are fine...I got this but as his body goes down it may get to where I cannot do this. So we found a place and was on the list and excited and to find out. They sold the place and now new owners....and now new rules.....and now the government makes changes that take place in January 2026. We are not looking for right away but for the future. Most of them for memory care want a spin down of $7000- $9000 per month for up to 2 years. Which means you pay out of your pocket for 2 years and then maybe...maybe a program will step into help. But more than likely not. Which will put a lot of families in harms way. Me I am working hard and making changes to accommodate hubby changing. With kids helping so far ...