Our Hard Lewy Body Dementia and Parkinson Disease journey #82

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Ok...I am not so emotional today. This disease is hard. For two weeks we were doing so good almost to the point that I sometimes forgot it was there. This week. I have been slapped around. Not by someone but by issues. This disease is an emotional one...ups and downs. Today hubby is angry. Angry about everything and everyone. His leg is bad and he is experiencing the rigidity of the Parkinson disease. Real stiff walk...can't bend knee. So he is angry. He can't walk but I wanted to run to the store to get out of the house and he wanted to go....was angry because I said "no". I want to go alone. Alone...does not exist anymore.....I am not sure which would be worse....hubby passing away suddenly or me watching him pass away little by little. Things changing little by little. Yes, this is a hard disease....and when it's your hubby...it is right in your face all the time. Good thing most of the time hubby doesn't even know anything's wrong. He can't tell the difference. Me somedays I feel like I have the same disease.....then daughter Valerie calls and wants to slap me silly and tells me to get with it. I don't know what I would do without all you friends...you all are my support group....I need each one of you. It's not hubby's fault. He didn't ask for this but it's the journey that he has to walk,....it's me who fails....I am not as strong as most of you think....I get emotional....but if this is how we are to go...I will square my shoulders, raise my chin ...seek the Lord and walk on.....have to hubby needs me.

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