therustycupboard

  I find so many things are so different. I know some of you who have lost your loved one understand what I am saying. It is so different. But my hubby is still here but not here. So sometimes I forget. Like we are going camping...hubby always took care of the outside things like firewood, axes, shovels etc...man stuff....now I have to remember NO AXES.. ..so I try to get kindling before we go. Firewood has to be split by sons before we can go. Because neither of us can use an axe. Trying to remember the stabilizers, fire poker, etc...Hubby is trying but I am finding something being put into the Jeep some are being put in the sheds...and finally some in the truck ......etc....hard to get on the same page. Not complaining just recognizing a new world for us. But we will go and have fun.... memories can be made over some of the silliest things....and we intend to do just that....

  We had our yearly physical today....for hubby not much change. With this disease...there isn't a magic pill...no quick fix...nothing...so the main thing they did was just record progress in the direction that it is going. He is a little depressed so trying to make him happy and enjoy the day....We are fine.... Hubby joined a new group today.....the ones with the green and white card.....hubby uses a walker due to dizziness and will be in a wheelchair in time....his doctor filled out the papers and.. he has joined the club of the handicapped....listen we know this is serious but sometimes you have to have some fun to take away the stress....we are making him proud.... His cards are in the mail....

  For those of you who are following our journey I want to just let you know how a little of our day goes...for those who are not following please just move on to a different post..... Our morning....me...let's go out and check the antifreeze in the pickup hubby...ok....so he goes out and raises the hood...and stands there me....now take the cap off the radiator and let's see hubby takes cap off and stands there just looking...finally I say what are you doing... hubby...I have this lid and can't find what to do with it me...it's for the radiator.. check the fluids hubby....just looking at the motor and standing there me....how is the fluids now....all of a sudden he is him and he says "oh it's good we don't need any....and we talk a little about the truck then he stares off to the back of the truck I say what you doing..... hubby...I don't know me. Well let's close the hood now...he is angry and says "it's all your fault. You never let me d

  Hubby is knowing that his disease will not get better....unless a miracle from the Lord....he talks about it....but as the days go by. He is so confused....tired ...dizzy and just sad. We go to our primary doctor on Monday and maybe he will have some good answers....but for now hubby is resting on the back patio trying to do word search and watching the grandkids play. He eats good and everything is still working good. No pain. Just his mind is slowly fading away. What a journey....We never know why we go down the roads we go but the Lord has his hands on us and He knows our journey. We trust Him completely to guide us...give us peace...and me strength and patience....we can do this if this is what he wants for us. thanks for listening....God bless...

  .... we have been working hard on a small house...manual labor of siding..roof..windows..paint..shutters...today was a long day...we worked hard. But it took a toll on hubby...I keep pushing. But time to back off....he physically and mentally can't do it any more.... he is done.... even to hard for him to go and watch.....makes me sad...tomorrow is our last day. The house will be.done.....but hubby will also be done. No more projects....life...sometimes hurt...Nite all...

  Before I leave for work I wanted to let you all know the funny side of this disease...they warned me that hubby will start to collect things....and to watch what he collects some could harm him....well my hubby ...has now put 16 bottles of shampoo and creme rinse in the bath/shower...3 around the toilet and 4 on the counter by the sink....I ask him why....he says..."he has no idea"...I say where did you find all of these ...he says "no idea"............I have purchased them with coupons and put into the pantry...and yes I know they have expiration dates ...I am on top of this.....and now he has to have every door in the house closed....EVERY DOOR....this drives me crazy...and he has no idea why.......but he closes them and I open them....we are a mess here...........dishes are everywhere in the house as I still try to let him put the clean dishes away.....always a hunt....but we are doing good....enjoying a few good laughs....have a great day everyone and love on

  This has been a fun 4 days with our daughter and son in law coming home. We got to get together as a family and enjoy our grandson's birthday. I was a little worried about hubby going and being around everyone and still keeping it together. But he actually did pretty good other than getting mad a few times and being mean. Then the family wanted to go to Fazzari's pizza. I didn't think it would be a good idea for him but we went. Things went ok. Our son in laws father came to town so he wanted to meet for dinner at Fazzari's 2 nights later. Hubby was fine and then...........pride........mercy.........I took hubby's and my water glass and moved them to the side of my plate. This made hubby mad and he began..."why are you taking my water" can't I even have water" really loud....Nate tries to explain to hubby that there was another glass of water in front of him.....more confusion..........more getting mad....more of hubbies madness ..and th